Properly preparing tea is all about rules. There is a strict methodology for producing a well-brewed pot or cup of tea, and these steps don’t include the grandmotherly old adage, “one lump or two.” I know a number of these guidelines, and embarrassingly enough, I often find myself ignoring them. As follows is a list of the five biggest tea sins that I commit.
- I’m sometimes impatient. Unlike coffee, tea is not marketed or viewed as a pick-me-up energy booster even though many varieties of tea do contain significant amounts of caffeine. Drinking tea is sold as a relaxing and soothing experience and this carries over to the steeping process. With the exception of black and puer teas, you don’t want to drop good tea leaves into boiling hot water – it has a negative flavor effect. The water should cool somewhat before steeping. In the mornings at work, I often find myself making a double-cup of boiling hot green tea while answering emails. By the time the tea of a drinkable temperature, the leaves have been over-brewed and scalded into submission and I’m chugging a sub-par mug of tea.
- I still sophomorically snicker at “tea-bagging” double entendre. I’m dying to see which one of us will make the first dirty joke on this website.
- I am a victim of good Asian marketing. I have hard time passing up on a tea named “Lucky Dragon Lim-Lim Gunpowder Headache Explosion,” regardless of how funky, foul, or fried the flavor is. I’m halfway certain that there are really only three or four tea plant varieties but every seller and grower gives their own nonsensical name to their harvests.
- I like Southern-style iced tea. As a wanna-be purist, I am supposed to frown upon the rusty brown, sugar water concoction that has as little to do with tea as Budweiser does to beer. Nonetheless, I relish the syrupy, tannin-rich brew, consumed out of a Mason jar and garnished with a slice of lemon. I often find myself preparing for these moments by tuning into the farm report and stripping myself naked save for a filthy pair of well-stained denim overalls and a ratty straw hat.
- I eat tea. Really, I eat tea. I grind up good leaves and make a really interesting dry rub for steak, chicken or ribs. I’m sure that it originated with some oddball fusion chef with more Michelin stars than Michelin tires, but simply I don’t know enough to give credit where it is due. Ultimately, the tea flavors combine well with traditional spices and help carry the taste and aromas of the seasonings deep into the meats.
Anyhow, these are my dirty little secrets. If you care to share, post your own – I can’t be the only one who has thought of using the world’s most popular beverage in an unorthodox manner.
